Quarterly report - 2022

Salaam friends,

Well, what a lucrative year it has been, haha, Lennon is fucking fuming, says I’ve brought great dishonour upon his Great Corporation, the daft prick.

Seems like I have a lot to learn about getting this stuff to market and then, either as, or perhaps more importantly, closing the deal.

People are interested, yes, “It’s all very striking,” they tell me, but interest doesn’t pay the bills, unless it’s interest made on wealth horded in high-interest bank accounts, which isn’t the kind of interest that I’ve garnered.

Also bills are a problem for everyone. Those energy companies are sick cunts, and I don’t mean that in the way that Australians mean it, i.e. as a compliment, no.

Anyway, there was this guy who came up to me at Trentham Maker’s Market, some big weight-lifter looking guy, and he really liked Composite Ox.

“I really like this,” he told me.

“Thankyou,” I said.

“What I don’t like, is the price.”

Well, fuck you, mate, I thought.

“It’s a limited edition,” I told him.

“How do I know that?” he asked.

“Well,” I explained, “I only got a certain amount printed and each one is signed and numbered.”

“But how can you prove it’s a limited edition?”

I was starting to dislike this porkchop ballbag more and more with every word and grew frustrated.

“How does any artist prove it’s a limited edition?”

He didn’t have an answer for that, and luckily he didn’t ask about certificates of authenticity, which I don’t have.

“As I said,” he reiterated, “I like the work… what I don’t like is the price.”

“The price is the price,” I told him.

“Well, I don’t like it!” He was getting petulant.

“The price is the price,” I repeated and then turned my back on him, leaving him looking a little shaken, but making the traders at the stall next to mine laugh.

Anyway, I know I could have dropped my price and made a sale, I had a pretty hefty mark-up on all my prints, but only because I wanted to claw back some of my overheads.

Call it a learning experience.

I’ve dropped my prices now.

Apologies to the good friends of mine who paid bare dollar for an original price print.

Here’s the honour roll for 2022:

MJA - paid original price for an A4 World Rat.

TGB - paid original price for an A3 World Rat.

LRE - paid original price for an A3 Master Splinter.

OS - paid original price for an A4 Antennae Rat.

JB - paid slightly discounted price for an A3 The Real Keepers of Pharos.

LMc - paid slightly discounted price for an A3 The Real Keepers of Pharos.

FRP - paid slightly discounted price for an A3 Melter.

Lady at Bombed Out Church Maker’s Market whose name I don’t know - paid slightly discounted price for an A4 Call Me, Theseus.

Your purchases are the only thing that have kept Lennon from stabbing me to death in my sleep.

He’s tied me to a hard-backed chair with my eyes taped open as episodes of The Apprentice are played in a constant stream.

There are lessons to be learned but this isn’t the way.

Worst of all, it’s the American version.

Love as ever in these times of flagrant greed and corruption,

Sul