WELCOME
Salaam, Fellow Wanderers, thanks for stopping by, just thought I’d write something to welcome you all and explain some of the history behind this, and as this is the only part of the website that I haven’t been locked out of, I will also apologise for my business partner’s strange behaviour here. He’s not normally this bad, or not to the extreme that you can see in e.g. “The Great Works of Sir Betelgeuse”, I used to think he just got a bit over-excited, but the further into this project I’ve gone with him the more I’ve started to think he might actually have deep-seated psychotic delusions of grandeur. Shamefully, I’ll admit that I fed these delusions, I thought he was just joking around, so I joked along with him, riffed on his riffs, it was a mistake, now he seems to have dipped into his mental reality so heavily that I can’t get him out. Anyhow, you’ll probably have read his extravagant claims so I’ll dispel a few bits and bobs for you in case you took him at face value.
Firstly, while Lennon is my good friend he is definitely not a “Sir”, has never been knighted and never will be, there is no tradition of knighting insects anywhere in the world. Secondly, he is not a politician, let alone the World’s Second Greatest thereof, and annoyingly won’t tell me who he considers to be the first greatest politician. Thirdly, he is also not a CEO, and if he were, or if his role in our enterprise warranted the title “CEO”, then he certainly wouldn’t be comparably greater than all other CEOs who exist in the world. I could agree that in some ways, and not just mentally in his own head, he is a politician and CEO in some parallel form, because he has become dangerously obsessed with finance, expedience and power. However, increasingly belligerent tool though he might be, and every group of friends has one, as I said, he is still my mate, and his heart is in the right place, I assume, despite the odd or downright offensive things he says and does in the name of “ensuring stability”, “maintaining control of his assets” and “removing confusion through crushing open discourse”. He had spoken of these things before but it’s taken a turn for the worse recently.
Similarly, I should clarify his references to being a “Betel” and all that stuff about him coming from Betelgeuse are not true, he’s just an ordinary beetle and he comes from Earth. The Greatest Star Betelgeuse thing and that weird double-globe planet he talks about was one of those little verbal plays that I foolishly latched onto and helped him develop in his mind until it apparently became real to him. Now he’s banging on about how he needs to go “Home” and how he’s going do so by capitalising on me, that I am a commodity, and through me he will raise funds to build a spaceship to take him back to his “Chitinous Horde”, I can’t get through to him, sometimes I think he’s listening, like he’s trying to fight his imaginings, other times he just looks at me and cackles and tells me I’m his “art-slave”, his “vassal”, his “monetised minion”. Truthfully though, without him this whole venture would have fallen flat, I am a painter and sometimes a carver, but I am not a promoter, nor am I a salesman, Lennon, psychoses notwithstanding, is actually good at those things, so we complement each other somewhat.
So there you go, that ought to clear all your confusion, it takes all sorts, man, beetle and everything in between and to the sides to make it work. I hope you feel welcomed to Betelgeuse Corporation, Len and I have made some good stuff and will continue - Universe willing - making more good stuff, check it out if you haven’t already and if you have and you’re about to leave, during the mundanities of daily life, remember where we are, and what we do at Betelgeuse Corporation, pause for a moment and ask yourself in Waitsian fashion, What is he building in there, and then come back and have another gander, if only to satisfy your curiosity, because you never know, we could be building something big, something powerful, something destined for the Greatest Star Betelgeuse and its double globe planet of Krrrr-kaahrehhhk-krriii *two steps to the left, shuffle right-side of carapace* kkeeeeeeeek-kaahh-kuuuuh *open wings once and bow* kkkkareeeeeeeeeeennklop *defecate minutely*, blessed homeland of the Betels. It’s unlikely, but you never fucking know.
With love and in fear of the boss,
Sul.
