Name: Hulgrim Yalrinda Melinkzubazmep-Duobrambuh

Also Known As: The Son Who Will Never Be [Yok name of disparagement], The Unsprouting Seed [Father’s name of disparagement], The One Who’s Actually Alright [Human nickname], Dinner [Jejnir nickname].

Race: Yoktojan/Yok [abbr.]/Space-tapir [human perjorative].

Age: 24 Yok Years/235 Earth Years.

Parents: Duobram [father], Melinkzubaz [Mother].

Siblings: 98 known, 13 additional suspected.

Siblings of Note: Katzmus [closest in age, hierarchical contender].

Main Occupation: Engineer [Mechanical/Electronic/Structural/Demolitions Expert].

Secondary Occupation(s): Prince [infrequent official duties].

Musical Preferences: The Offspring, Rage Against the Machine, System of a Down.

Favourite Food: Zchmakzchmah, Gah-Lop, Black Pudding, Chips.

Allegiances/Affiliations: Self-stated rogue element, still toes the Yok line, sympathetic to humanity.

Antagonisms: highly hostile [reciprocated] to Jejnir remnant.

Additional Information: willfully independent and a thorn in his royal father’s side. No desire to take up the Beamline Yoks leadership. Once publicly slapped his sister when he discovered she’d laced his breakfast zchmakzchmah with gadolinium. This inspired his father, who favours his second child, to write a rap album pointedly humiliating his eldest son with such smash hits as Omm Saj Klang [transl. “My son still defecates in his sleeping quarters”], Hulgrim Nurgra Skirramizzirrah [transl. “Hulgrim when will you grow the fuck up?”] and Scopraup Gimmihirrih Craup [transl. “How did this rubbish come out of my body?”]. Since the widespread release of his father’s [Yok equivalent to a] triple platinum album, Hulgrim prefers wiring up devices to find forgotten caches of weapons in the exterior, or building intricately designed mechanical bands to play Earth Human rock/metal songs with him. He hates his father with impotent passion, but refuses to rise to the jibes and internalises the majority of his rage.

Lennon, CEO of Betelgeuse Corp.’s Thoughts ON “HULGRIM”:

“Scopraup Gimihirrih Craup, what the fuck is this nonsense? It’s not even that good a drawing, you can see where there are bits rubbed out and the shading’s messy, barely worthy of my Great Corporation’s website. These aliens better fucking get better than this codswallop.”

VASSAL’s DEFENCE OF “HULGRIM”:

“I drew Hulgrim back in 2012/2013. I hadn’t drawn anything for ages so he was both necessary practice, and a gateway back into a brief stint of drawing that actually didn’t last as long as it should have done. I’d been listening to the Pixies album Bossanova, and particularly the song The Happening, so I’d been thinking about aliens a lot.”