The Right Honourable Betelgeuse Corporation Proudly Presents To You...
MELTER!
The Right Honourable Betelgeuse Corporation Proudly Presents To You... MELTER!
And now a word from our CEO, Lennon BeTELGEUSE:
“Well all, what a fine piece we have here, dear perusers, but somewhat incongruous too. The geologists will know what I’m talking about. Watercolour on acrylic paper, used thick in places, the original is approximately 10” x 10”. The information I extracted from the vassal, who today was recalcitrant verging on hostile, is that it is a painting of some rocks from a small pool in a mountain stream somewhere between Glaramara and Great End. A lucky find for a thirsty traveler, but a risk in Sheep Country, what about the toxoplasmosis? I suspect the parasites really got to him because the painting doesn’t look anything like the original photograph. Foolish human! You know, a beetle would never succumb to such infections!”
What does it look like to me, Lennon BeTELGEUSE, CEO?
“Thankme for asking. To me it looks like the bottom of a forearm and top and thumb of a hand of some rough-hewn biomechanical humanoid reaching down through a pool of melted glass to punch a millipede.”
How much WOUld I, Lennon Betelgeuse, louvre ON THE MOVE and art-dealer extraordinaire, sell this painting for?
“Alas! Alas! The vassal has succumbed to his humanity and gifted this painting away. As the CEO of a major, transnational corporation doing honest work to improve life for Betels at the expense of humanity everywhere, I was disgusted when he told me of his heresy, and rest assured I flew into a blind rage and ordered the subjugated ants to tunnel and nest beneath his patio, making the bricks sink into the ground and presenting a devastating trip-hazard.”
The original is taken but there are PRINTS of different sizes AVAILABLE IN THE SHOP.
Now tell us what and why, vassal?
“Rocks somewhere in the Lake District, I’d run out of water and took the photo this painting was based on whilst refilling. The coloured central band and blue offshoot are softer tuffs eroded by the stream out of the encompassing quartz which was massive and smoothed by the water. It was a good spot to stop and relax at. The painting came out melted because at the time my head was melted from a different kind of rock.”
Like crack?
“No, not crack. Laterite.”
That means nothing to me, how did you get to this plop-riddled stream?
“Got a train and cycled, and then walked. The bike I did the cycling part on was an old Townsend road-bike, 15.5” frame, which I rate 10/10 and recommend as a 100% Solid Steed for anyone who might see one for sale.”
No one cares about your bike, fool. What does this painting look like to you, cringing art-slave of the mighty Betels?
“Rocks, obviously.”
MELTER...
A Betelgeuse Corporation Production.
MELTER... A Betelgeuse Corporation Production.
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