THE Professional and Most Worthy BETELGEUSE CORPORATION Proudly PRESENTS to you… Antennae Rat!
THE Professional and Most Worthy BETELGEUSE CORPORATION Proudly PRESENTS to you… Antennae Rat!
And now a word from our CEO, Lennon BeTELGEUSE:
“The vassal is paranoid, deluded, fearful of little robotic creatures that crawl into our homes and spy on us. ‘There are ears everywhere, Lennon Betelgeuse, CEO of the greatest Corporation,’ he tells me on a good day, ‘Ears everywhere, connected to a brain.’ But I can’t make sense of his babbling, even on one of his good days, so I smile and nod, Yes, vassal, Yes, and I push a brush into his hand and suggest, as any good CEO would, that he keep working. This one’s a small one, just A5, watercolour on watercolour paper. Bold and lively, isn’t it? Something for the rat lovers. Watch out for typhus and yersinia pestis, though! Ho-ho, only joking, this rat’s disease free.”
What do I, Lennon BeTELGEUSE, CEO, Think the rat is doing?
“Thankme for asking. To me it looks like the rat is about to power-up its antennae and electrically charge its raised hand to the point where it can hurl a thunderbolt into a Biffa bin full of its crawling, feasting family, who stand between it and the canal-side chippy’s refuse, which will be both its dinner and its bed.”
How much WOUld I, Lennon Betelgeuse, PIRATE OF THE Tate and daguerreotypICAL Betel, sell this painting for?
“Alas! Alas! The vassal has succeeded in evading me, channeling the scurrying rat of his painting he has crawled to places unknown and hidden it from me. He will pay! I spied fresh fruit on his counter, the subjugated ants could be talked into carrying it away, no picnics for thieves! And a CEO must protect their investment! The Law is not on my side, but torture was invented for a reason! Huzzah!”
The original is hidden but PRINTS of different sizes are AVAILABLE IN THE SHOP.
Now tell us what and why, vassal?
“How many times have you spoken of something and then had an advert for that thing pop up? Recently a mate of mine told me how he was logged in to some streaming platform or other on his home laptop but always stayed logged out on his work computer. He made sure to keep it that way. He kept it light at work, music, funny stuff, and did his 3 hr games videos and politics/opinions streaming at home. It should have generated different algorithms for this platform at work vs home but it still learnt who the ‘anonymous person’ at IP address xyz was and one day this friend magically had the same suggested videos on each computer, an amalgamation of the two algorithms. Is that convenient or creepy?”
Sounds entrepreneurial to me, but rats are seldom convenient, why was that story relevant?
“Because you asked me what and why.”
And I regret it, do you have anything nice to say about this painting?
“Even though we’re all being constantly spied on by almost every single piece of hardware and software purchased, downloaded or installed, and corporate AI’s are parsing our every bit of speech to guess our thoughts, we can still imitate the Antennae Rat: stay flexible, listen more and keep a smile on our face.”
How sweet, now tell us, fearful slave of the system, why a rat?
“Because it was the Year of the Rat.”
Antennae Rat...
A Betelgeuse Corporation production.
Antennae Rat... A Betelgeuse Corporation production.
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