THE SALIENT AND INDUSTRIOUS BETELGEUSE CORPORATION PROUDLY PRESENTS TO YOU...
COMPOSITE OX!
THE SALIENT AND INDUSTRIOUS BETELGEUSE CORPORATION PROUDLY PRESENTS TO YOU... COMPOSITE OX!
And now a word from our CEO, Lennon BeTELGEUSE:
“Ha! You can see this ox’s genitalia! I mean, ,what a wonderful piece. The painting, that is, not the bull-pizzle. Ahem. As the CEO of a major intergalactic corporation I do not condone the nudity in this painting and nor will I defend the rights of the vassal to produce such smut. Gonads and phallus notwithstanding, the forms and shapes comprising the ox certainly lend the creature some semblance of raw and natural power, although there really should be a serving of peppercorn sauce on the side with this one. The vassal tells me of the guilt he feels eating the cow-flesh, They’re nice animals, Lennon Betelgeuse, CEO of carnivorous tendencies, he says, when you look in their eyes you can see more than just a dumb animal staring out. But it’s unlikely that the vassal has the cerebral capacity to recognise true intelligence himself and I’ve seen him eating cheeseburgers from Legends. His hypocritical attempts to make a poorly thought out point, about how human life and ability should not be commoditised, wash over me like watercolour paints on A5 watercolour paper.”
WhICH BIT WOULD I, Lennon BeTELGEUSE, CEO, MOST LIKE TO EAT?
“Thankme for asking. The marbled, wave-like dewlap truly makes my mandibles click in greasy desire for steak.”
How much WOUld I, Lennon Betelgeuse, DOOR-to-door SAATCHI PARTY WEARING CRAVATS OOH AREN’T I ARTY, sell this painting for?
“Alas! Alas! The vassal has placed this one behind the peas in the freezer. My cold-blooded nature means even I, Lennon Betelgeuse, CEO of extraordinary talent, would perish were I to enter the Frosted Chamber of Doom. Fear not though, fair perusers, we Betels have been around for millions of years and my cousin Mountain Stone Weta, with her remarkable proteins, is being flown in from New Zealand to aid me in repatriating this art with its rightful Betels.”
THE ORIGINAL IS Frozen Stiff BUT PRINTS OF DIFFERENT SIZES ARE AVAILABLE IN THE SHOP.
Now tell us what and why, vassal?
“The Year of the Ox started in a similar way to how the Year of the Rat had progressed and ended, so stylistically it’s a re-made, ox-shaped composite of the Antennae Rat, World Rat and a bit of Master Splinter.”
Your lack of originality enrages me. A New Year marks a chance for new things, yet you have fallen back on the same-old, same-old!
“It’s a still a new and different painting to the others.”
Your attempts to justify your boring MO enrages me further! What exactly were you doing in the Years of the Rat and Ox?
“A lot of COVID-19 PCR tests.”
COMPOSITE OX...
A BETELGEUSE CORPORATION PRODUCTION.
COMPOSITE OX... A BETELGEUSE CORPORATION PRODUCTION.
WANT MORE YOU COW-PAT?
CLICK “CALL ME, THESEUS”.